Part 35: Defenders of the Realm

Part 35 - Defenders of the Realm







When we last left off, we were just about to step deeper into the Executive Wing, where no man hath treadeth in yearsth. What horrors and/or supremely weird and slightly uncomfortable things await us within these hallowed halls?



Well... nothing, as it turns out. What, you thought I was leading you on when I said things'd be incident-free? Please. Aside from the occasional stain left by Billy and his buddies during their efforts on cutting down facility staff, none of the rooms here contain anything of interest aside from the cold storage unit we've been looking for from the start.





And it looks to be intact too. It's been a strange and occasionally pretty disgusting path that we've had to tread, but we finally have our icy prize.



Time to skedaddle. See ya around o' Knight-King, enjoy your choco nubs and take good care of your realm. Just... don't try to sire an heir with any of your subjects, okay?



Wonder how long these things'll stay frozen. Maybe we should've brought a cooler box or something.



Um...



Can we help you folks with something?



You! Stay right where you are!

The megaphone really isn't necessary, man. I'm standing right here.

You will place the stolen bioware samples that you're carrying on the ground, then lie on your belly with your hands on your head! Do it now, or I will order my men to open fire!

Ah c'mon, you can't be serious. We were already out the door!

I didn't steal anything! The owner of this material commissioned me to retrieve it for him!



I swear, once we get back we'll have Eiger punt that crooked doctor all the way back to Madrid. The low-altitude elf spotted flying through the skies of Lyon will get passed down in French legend for generations to come.

This is unbelievable. This place is locked down for two years, and you choose *today* to come visit?

You think that it's a coincidence? We came when the quarantine was broken. We've had eyes on this place since the lockdown went into effect. You called us here when you opened the doors.

Why the wait? You could've broken into this place months ago!

The building was quarantined, idiot. It's cheaper to set up a camera than it is to mount a hazmat cleanup effort. As long as that counterfeit merchandise was contained, we didn't care that it was in there. But it will *not* hit the streets. Now shut your mouth and hit the floor, or I'll order my men to open fire!

We're really kind of in a hurry here, can't we do this some other time? We have a lot of crime to do in the next few days but how 'bout next week, it's not like a dragon's gonna suddenly swoop down and eat us before then or anything, haha.

Don't make me kill you, man.

Idiot shadowrunner. You people don't know when to keep your mouths shut.

[He shakes his head in disgust.]

Men, OPEN FI--

Ah goddam--








...The fuck?

Oh, shit! Oh my good man, you have not the slightest idea of what you've stepped into now.

TOO LONG have my people lived in fear of your aggression! I, PHILIP REX, will PROTECT THIS LAND from your mongrel deprivations!

[The corporate spokesman turns to address the security officers behind him.]

You two. Enter the building, find whoever's on that intercom, and silence him.

Yessir.

[He turns back to face you, reaching for the sidearm on his hip.]

And as for *you*--







We sadly don't get a whole army, but a pair of drones do pop up from both sides of the entrance. And so, shoulder to drone equivalent of a shoulder, together we march to war.


NEW MUSIC:



(The Knight-King decrees this track to be obligatory listening for all subjects who wish to continue perusing the contents of this update. This track is also highly canon, as in-game Phil is playing it through the facility speakers.)




Things explode into action right away, with a brave peasant landing the first blow on the leader of the villainous invaders. These particular pitchforks have some bite to them.



Ow ow so this is how it feels

Yeah, unfortunately our turn comes last here, which gives the Shiawase-employed Knight-Errant (yep, it's them again) a free turn to pummel our unprotected face. We dodged a bullet here though; this Mage can also cast Fireball which can really heat things up what with everyone starting out next to each other.



Especially since this fight isn't necessarily a walk in the park like the one against Billy was. Aside from the lightly-armed quarantine technician in white, all the enemies pack decent weaponry and HP and the group includes a Mage, a Conjurer and a Grenadier. Most of them also carry hand grenades of various types, and on top of everything else they all have Medium or Heavy cover to hide behind.

The drones even the odds of course, but if you opted to commit regicide, meaning shot Phil in the face after meeting him, then you'll obviously be on your own here. A fate you rightly deserve.



Our first order of business is to find some cover and spread out as best we can, taking what potshots we can in the process. Not much of actual note is accomplished this turn on account of all the cover defanging our offensive power.



The KE spend their turn mostly hurling various grenades at Dietrich in an attempt to finally bury the punk scene for good, but the majority of them whiff either partially or completely.



This mage breaks the usual rule of AI units only taking one action per turn and both removes Dietrich's armor and scorches one of the peasants in one go. If they knew Blind or Mind Wipe we might really be in trouble here, but even as it is this guy's a real pain in the backside.



The conjurer mixes up Good Ideas and Bad Ideas by conjuring up an Inferno (which immediately proceeds to give us a few more singed eyebrows with a firebolt) and immediately following it up by rushing out of cover for no reason.



The peasants lend us the support of the common people in the form of decent but scattered damage. Their main purpose in this fight is to take bullets for us, of course.



The smart thing to do in this situation would be to heal up and take it slow, or to at least disable the enemy mage with a spell, but the siren call of AoE is too strong so we instead opt for a risky Lightning Ball in the hopes of it knocking out at least one of the grouped up KE troops. It doesn't take though.



Also since Max still had the Taser selected from the previous fight, I accidentally knock out the 2 HP Conjurer instead of finishing them off. Professional shadowrunning right here folks, though it does at least accomplish the most important task of extinguishing the bothersome Inferno.



The megaphone man throws another grenade off-target, but a crit is good enough to knock us out which is not a great development.



Oof, a little too close for comfort. Luckily the double-casting Mage doesn't crit and uses their second spell to heal up the conjurer we highly strategically failed to kill, so Dietrich's damage-reduction aura just barely saves our greedy skin. Maybe some Body investment is in order after this though...



In the end the first kill of this unexpectedly grueling clash goes to Team Peasant, with a mortar taking out a KE Enforcer. May the plague be merciful and only take four of your children this year, friend.



Our poor decisions force Dietrich to Haste up Eiger just so that she can bail us out with an Advanced Medkit. This fight's been pretty messy, and worst of all the Mage still remains ungeeked because they're hiding behind their Heavy Cover dumpster.



Blitz delivers the coup de grâce on the unconscious conjurer as a small consolation prize, not that they were doing much anyway.



I said that the drones are mostly here to take bullets for us while we do the heavy lifting, but somehow it's started to feel like the other way around.



Eiger pumps another medkit into us while Dietrich summons an Earthquake to bring cover to our fragile caster butts. The real powergaming move would've been to do this on turn one while everyone was grouped up, but Guard is quite possibly the most broken ability in the game so I don't really want to bust it out unless it's really necessary. The KE take their turn after, but most of their shots just bounce off of our rad forcefields.



Now this is how you cast Flamethrower, none of that amateur hour 12 DMG bullshit. You gotta make it burn son, you can't call yourself a mage if you can't send 'em to hell and have them be grateful for the chance to cool off.





At this point victory practically assured, Earthquake one-two rock punches the Grenadier and the bossman out cold and Max subsequently plays the role of the clean-up crew.



The quarantine technician is the last one to go on account of not having been much of a threat, and so the day is ours.







We've done it! We've *DONE* it, my friends! The Jubuthon Hordes have been defeated! With this great victory, I declare a new age of exploration and commerce! My peasants will form trade agreements with our neighboring kingdoms, for the betterment of all!

You get that your "neighboring kingdoms" are just office buildings, right?

Ha ha! Yes, of course. In the same way that the Sutterlin Empire is "just an office building," eh?

Empire? Since when is--

Don't question him, just roll with it. We need to get this bioware back to Ezkibel before it starts to thaw.

Let's just hope we won't have to deal with Dark Emperor Philip Rex a few months from now. Dear lord, he'd probably don some kinda embarassing spray-painted costume and everything.



[You hear the rustling sound of Phil pushing himself away from the intercom. A few seconds later, the building's external speakers fall silent.]

Yeah, I don't think we'll be forgetting this particular adventure anytime soon either.

If you didn't download Phil's final episode and instead suggested that he'd send his peasants to search for it later, this final conversation up until Phil's farewell also plays a bit differently:






It's been weird, but at the end of the day the job's done and we're still in one piece. Well more or less, I don't think anyone can step into the realm of the Knight-King and depart without leaving some small part of themselves behind.

So long as it's not an entire organ.